Dear Ones,

Maeve Jones and I are coming together to co-host another gathering, this one exploring “agenda”. I wonder, what does that word evoke in you?

For me, I can feel a certain tightness with a sense of a do-er, someone trying to get something done, and a future - when this something will get done. There can be a sense of struggle with what is here, now. Perhaps a sense of effort - trying to gain an illusion of control over what is inherently out of our control. There could be a feeling of inflation as this do-er, or a feeling of deflation that the effort is trying to avoid.

We may be aware of agendas we have when it comes to other people, external circumstances, how we want them to be different - perhaps for very justifiable reasons. I am also curious about the agendas we have with ourselves - physically, mentally, emotionally. I call this the “Agenda of Wellness”. Of course we want to feel well, of course we want our bodies to move freely without pain, of course we want a regulated nervous system and to not act unconsciously out of fixation. But what gets lost in this agenda? How are we betraying ourselves in this effort to be “well”?

What if instead, it is possible to stop and turn into what we are avoiding with our agenda? What if it is possible to listen and receive, noticing that the river of life is carrying us perfectly in this moment. What if, instead of paddling hard against the current of life, it is possible to let the natural flow carry and guide? What does this feel like? Trusting the love that is naturally living us in this moment? And what right action may effortlessly flow from here, now?

You are all welcome to join us on Zoom to deepen into this exploration.

3pm Pacific Time

8am April 19th Sydney Time

10am April 19th New Zealand

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

As we witness a world seemingly fracturing into polarities on many different levels, I find myself reflecting on what I really want. When reading the news, I can feel how I want my own agenda; I want things to look the way I want them to look & I don’t want them to be any other way. In this I can feel the violence in myself - a violence based in a belief of separation. This but not that, you but not me, us but not them, here but not there. It feels like the violence of these polarities is rising to the surface to be seen and met in a new way, and this process feels painful. If I stop to tell a deeper truth, I can sense how focusing on separation is a way to actually avoid feeling this pain. This may have served at sometime, but now causes more suffering.

I wonder, what could it feel like to turn towards the pain within instead of projecting it outwards? To come into attunement with the waves of energy arising in us? To feel the harmony and rhythm of what is here, right now, even if it is uncomfortable? To open?

Perhaps by coming so deeply into attunement within, we can feel the illusion of separation dissolve everywhere - no you or me, no us or them, no here or there, no inside or outside. I am curious, what is left?

And what could it feel like to meet the apparent world, the apparent “other” from this place of deep attunement? No separation. Recognizing that everything is your own self dancing this dance. What right action naturally comes from here?

You are all invited to join me to discover for yourself. We plan to meet on Saturday April 5th from 10-11:30 Mountain Daylight Time.

9am Pacific Time

5pm/17h - London

6pm/18h - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

As someone who has a tendency to interact with the world through my mind, the invitation to inhabit the body more deeply has been life changing. When I first experienced conscious ego-transcendence decades ago - all form disappearing, the true formless nature of everything revealing itself - somehow the mind co-opted realization and turned it into “insight”. Very beautiful and true insight, but it seemed to stay safely in the mental realm and did not include the body and emotions. There was a sense of separation between “me” and “body” - a doubling down on “I am not my thoughts, emotions or body”. Yes, this is true, but over time this true realization turned into strategy of avoiding emotional energy and uncomfortable sensations in the body, a way of trying to control what is fundamentally out of control, a way to attempt to stay safe by maintaining the illusion of duality. A way of avoiding true intimacy, and this was painful.

It was the young people I work with who invited me out of this survival strategy and into my body, into a deeper experience of presence. They did not care about insights or inquiry - the “who are you without that thought?” Their presence called me to stop mental activity, drop more deeply into the embodied experience of this moment. In order to be present with them, I had to be present in myself - fully experiencing sensations in the body, waves of energy that get called emotion. I had to develop the capacity to open to everything arising in myself to be able to open to everything arising in another - to fully meet these precious apparent others who were coming to me for relief from their suffering. In this presence, any sense of “me” and “them” fell away, past and future revealed themselves as imaginary - nothing but unnamable, vast, endless, love. Silence that is empty of separation and completely full of everything.

You are all welcome to join me dropping more deeply in - experiencing the body as a portal to presence. I don’t know what will be discovered, but I welcome you in to experience for yourself.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday March 1st from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

9am Pacific Time

5pm/17h - London

6pm/18h - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

I have been exploring this theme of absorption for months….years…perhaps lifetimes, who knows? As I looked up a definition for the word, these are some things I found - full immersion, not paying attention to anything else, the act of drinking in, soaking up, receiving.

What could it feel like to deeply receive yourself and be received by yourself? Making contact with what is here is this moment: thoughts, emotions, sensations, reactions. Allowing awareness to rest immersed in what is here - no need to fix or change, no need to make meaning or understand. Fully merged within.

You are all welcome to join me with guest host Maeve Jones and we explore Absorption and offer a sacred container to take a deep dive in to receive your own self - where quiet opens everything on its own, no one here to comment or to observe, and no one to do anything at all. One.

We plan to meet by zoom on February 21st from 5pm - 6:30pm Mountain time.

Feb 21st 4pm-5:30 Pacific time

Feb 21st 7pm-8:30pm Eastern time

Feb 22nd 11am-12:30am Sydney AEDT

Feb 22nd 1pm-2:30pm Auckland NZDT

Feb 22nd 9am-10:30am Tokyo JST

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

I am taking a zoom pause for a bit here & will not host a gathering on February 1st.  I invite you during our regularly scheduled time, or any time at all if it feels right, to take a presence pause for yourself.  

I am curious what that feels like for you - to pause and open as this present moment - aware of ground and sky, sound and sensation right now..... 

And what if whatever is aware sinks back and down and in so deeply that any sense of subject and object fade away.......? 

No doer or doing, no past or future, no name or identifiable form.  Dropping in so deeply that inside and outside are revealed to mean nothing at all. Beyond any label, meaning or interpretation.

What if this is the True Nature of everything?  This pure freedom.   What if this is what you are, what everything is and always has been?

What if it is possible to rest here now?

And what if objectivity of awareness returns?  Why not?  Even as it returns and duality appears to appear - so what? Labels and meanings, preferences and discernment can tell the truth about themselves - they are empty, formless, spaciousness dancing as somethingness.

What can it feel like to live lightly as nothing and something, empty and full, embodied and free?  

I would love to hear what is discovered.

As the calendar moves from December to January, the year somehow changes from 2024 to 2025 - arbitrary in many ways and yet a useful agreement - it is a time to reflect on what else we are in agreement with, and what agreements no longer serve.

What could it feel like to have space to explore the ways we are in agreement with:

Habitual patterns of reactivity - such as taking things personally, projecting, worrying, judging, blaming?

Stories of the past - what we believed happened, and what we think that means?

Survival strategies - based on a limited belief in who and what we are, who and what others are?

As we come into this new year you are invited to join me and my guest host Karlis Williams as we support the exploration of these agreements - feeling into their vibration and tone, sensing how they have been living in the body, learning the lessons there are to learn, offering gratitude.

Then allowing the vibration and tone of the old agreements to naturally transform into something new. Infused with light of knowing the Truth of who and what we are.

Patterns, stories and strategies may still arise, but with a different energy, a lightness perhaps. Not a problem at all. What could it be like to live from here?

You are all invited to join us as we gather by zoom on Saturday January 4th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

9am Pacific Time

5pm/17h - London

6pm/18h - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

After a beautiful gathering in November, inquiring into the ways we avoid death, what we hold onto and what is here when all avoiding and holding on dissolves, I would love to investigate further. I invite you to join us as we explore the ways we keep an imagined sense of ourselves separate; the ways we protect an identity we feel needs protection.

I am curious, when you turn the light of awareness into the depths of the heart, can you feel or sense the defenses you hold there? They may be subtle or obvious, perhaps deeply hidden. What emotional energy have you not let yourself feel? What has been the cost?

You may find that the defenses have served an important purpose in the past and this may no longer be necessary.

What if it is possible to get more intimate with the defenses of the heart? To move closer through the layers of thought and projection, emotion and sensation, discovering something fresh as you turn towards instead of away? As you drop all the way through to what you were before you were even born?

What could it feel like to be fully absorbed into the purity and innocence of the undefended heart - beyond any sense of a separate someone needing protection? Where life can unfold effortlessly, the natural rhythm of Love flowing open and free.

And, what could it feel like to know that everyone and everything you see is this same innocence?

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday December 7th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

9am Pacific Time

5pm/17h - London

6pm/18h - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

Here in the Rocky Mountains, autumn has been taking its time turning to winter this year. The aspens and even some cottonwoods are still holding their leaves late into October. With one hard freeze, everything will change. What a beautiful time to meet and explore dying.

What is “dying”? One dictionary definition is gradually ceasing to exist or function; seeming to decline; about to disappear. “Ceasing to exist or function” - I am curious - what happens in you when you feel into those words, what arises as you contemplate the ceasing to exist or function of everything and everyone around you, when you contemplate your own dying?

What thoughts and emotions arise? What do they feel like in the body? Are these welcome or, perhaps, are there ways you avoid these thoughts, emotions and sensations - consciously or unconsciously.

You are all welcome to join us as Linda Floan and I offer space to inquire into the ways we avoid dying, what we hold on to, and what is here when that holding on stops - for just a moment. What if awareness can sink so deeply into what was avoided that there is no separation, there is total absorption? What could it feel like to allow life to be lived from here- present, quiet, whole?

Dying is giving up everything - even the identity as the one giving up.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday November 2nd from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

4pm/16h - London

5pm/17h - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear All,

For this month’s gathering I would love to invite you all to explore with us the embodied experience of Inner Refuge.

According to Merriam Webster, refuge is “shelter from danger or distress”.

We so often seek this outside of ourselves, in our circumstances - seeking refuge in relationship, family, job, community, house, nature, etc. Perhaps we seek this kind of shelter in our image, the health and comfort of our body, the bliss of positive emotions, or in disembodied mind-stream. What other ways have you sought refuge in circumstance? or a certain state of being?

We may find refuge in these circumstances for a moment, but these circumstances all change - the relationship fails, someone dies, the company folds, a hurricane destroys the beautiful house, the body ages. Uncomfortable emotions replace blissful ones and living in the head leads to suffering.

When we give up seeking refuge outside, I am curious, what is left? What could it feel like to turn inwards to seek refuge instead? In this moment to turn so deeply inside that it is possible to discover what cannot come and go, what is always here, always whole, always free from danger and distress.

You are all welcome to join us in this exploration and discover for yourself what this deep inner refuge feels like in the present moment.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday October 5th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

A while back a 10 year old was sharing with me that she often asks herself, “Why do I exist?”. This is a young person with a very challenging family situation, and I could feel some contraction and sadness as she asked this question, a sense of hopelessness in understanding the challenges she faces.

And I could also feel the innocence of this question that resonated deeply. “Why do I exist?” - what a beautiful question full of awe and wonder that can lead us to the very source of what we are.

I am curious, if you ask yourself this question right now - “Why do I exist?” What arises? Thoughts? Emotions? Sensations? Or perhaps nothing at all - silence, emptiness, I don’t know. What if there is space for everything that arises to just be - no right answer or wrong answer - everything welcome and met free of judgement and appraisal. What could be revealed?

What if there is permission to rest and sink even more deeply into the source from which this question arises? Where the one asking and the question itself dissolve, open? I am curious what remains?

Everyone is welcome to join us on Saturday September 7th to discover for yourself what is here when this question is asked. And what it feels like to live from the depths of the answer. Linda Floan will co-host with me.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday September 7th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

The wildflowers have been abundant this summer. In the mountains, nourishing spring rains and lush moisture of late day monsoons have supported rich growth and proliferation, so that meadows, hillsides and even rocky outcrops are dotted with yellows, reds and purples.

The other day I wandered into the woods with my identification book with the intention of naming, labeling, knowing some plants I had not seen before. As I sat on the bank of a stream and looked at the flower next to me, the momentum of naming and labeling stopped, and something shifted. Awareness opened.

Not naming, not labeling this precious being rising out of the earth, awareness opened, and the perceived form of flower dissolved. The form of earth and mountain and stream dissolved. And even the form of “I” dissolved. In not naming or labeling, not knowing, the vastness of what is unnamable & radiating within all apparent form instantly revealed itself. Shining, glowing, dancing, laughing. It was never not there, but I could feel how words, names, stories and labels cover over this radiance.

What if in this moment? You don't know what anything is called? What if all names, even your own, have permission to dissolve back into their source? All labels and whatever creates them have permission to rest right now? What is here? What is left?

You are invited to join us to discover for yourself in this inquiry.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday August 3rd from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

I am curious if you have ever experienced a moment of knowing that what you are is beyond name and form? Deeper than any story you tell? What if you have always known the source of your own being beyond the trance of the apparent world? Perhaps you forgot that you knew this but there was a moment when you remembered - it may have been only a split second, but what if that is enough?

What could it feel like to say “Yes!” to what you know, to confirm your own wisdom and be supported in deepening and anchoring into this as what you are? What could it be like to speak from this, live from this?

To discover, you are invited to join us as Linda Floan and I support you in this journey of Self-confirmation.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday July 6th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Watching what is unfolding in Gaza, I can experience waves of emotions - shock, sadness, despair, fear and anger. With the waves of emotion, the body feels heavy, tense, covering over tremulousness. A sense of powerlessness and helplessness. Stories run in the head about what should and shouldn’t be happening, who is right and who is wrong.

It feels necessary to identify what is wrong with what is happening in Gaza, to be aware of the circumstances that have created war, but if we only focus out there, we are missing the opportunity to intimately discover the roots of war.

What if there is space to also turn inward to discover more deeply what is happening here - in our communities and even more closely - in our hearts, minds, and bodies? Where are we turning against others and ourselves? Where are we doing what we judge others for doing?

What has to happen for us to believe that we are right and superior while others are wrong and inferior in that wrongness? What does this feel like in the body? And is there a possibility to open to all of this right now? To stop going to war with what is here in this moment?

You are all welcome to join me in this inquiry into the roots of war and to discover what is here when everything is welcome.

We plan to gather by zoom on Friday June 21st from 5pm-6:30pm Mountain time & all are welcome.

7pm - New York

9am Saturday June 22nd Sydney

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

As this body ages - more wrinkles and grey hair, less shine on the surface - I experience the strange phenomenon of not recognizing myself when I look in the mirror. Who is this old person in front of me? In my mind I look the way I did at 40, and there is a jarring disconnect when I see my reflection. My mind can get busy with narratives about this aging body - how to slow down the process, improve the image. This involves a lot of comparing to others - in media, in public spaces, in the darkness of my own imagination. I can go to war with myself and the world. All to back away from the abyss of the disconnect - the terror and uncertainty of aging and dying.

Or the disconnect itself can be received as an invitation to stop and inquire. Who is this that I see in the mirror? And who or what is seeing? Is this image of apparent form - skin, hair, body - who I am? How can it be if the experience of “I” has not changed as this body has aged?

Who am I with no concept, image, projection or idea of what I look like? Who am I with no narrative of form? What is left when the identification with form falls away, for just a moment? Right now?

This is the invitation from my teacher Ramana, passed down through Papaji and Gangaji and can be found here:

‘Who Am I?’ Sri Ramana Maharshi’s teachings on how to realise the Self - David Godman

Entangled in the Search for a Better Identity - Gangaji

Please join me to discover together who we are deeper than our self-image, to discover what doesn’t change as the body ages, what remains as the form disappears completely.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday June 1st from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

Over the past few weeks I have had the privilege to step back from organizational roles I have been playing for the past couple of years. There was no movement away or against, just a clear knowing from stillness that this whole system needed to rest, to unhook from a matrix of planning and structure and fall deeply open as the liminal, the non-linear, the muddy earth of unknown and unknowing. This body needed to swim in salt water, press hard into red clay, feel the liquid touch of newly blossomed petals on the skin. My whole nervous system needed to absorb early morning sun and drink in birdsong of spring - red winged black birds and robins - listen to the creek running full and fast as the snow melts in the high country. To feel the lengthening days in the spaces within and between all facets of apparent form.

In this deep rest, this deep surrender as the heaviness of soil and mulch, the mind rests - loosens any contraction of identity, identification, imagined someoneness and separateness. Such a relief. All awareness falling back and down, dissolving as its own Self - nothing, no one. Quiet, free. No past or future, no time, no form, nothing that isn’t this and nothing that is. Nothing, no thing. Even the words “birdsong” and “earth” are too much, too heavy and limiting to describe the vastness of pure being as it rises and falls, dances and plays, as it naturally rests in this moment.

You are all welcome to join me this month to discover what deep rest feels like, what is naturally here when all energy of doing and becoming stops, just for a moment.

We plan to gather by zoom on Saturday May 4th from 10am to 11:30am Mountain time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

As there is much energy arising, falling, as patterns are showing up to be met during this eclipse season, I have been feeling into what it means to take things personally. How we can be open and at peace until someone walks into the room with a scowl on their face or does not return our text or email, and our whole mood changes.

How does this happen? How does a certain circumstance, or set of circumstances trigger waves of energy - energy in motion - e-motion - and corresponding sensations that turn into a narrative we become identified with? How do these energies become “mine” and mean something about “me”? “I am unworthy.” “I am a failure.” How does identification with these narratives spin into projections about the world - “You should be different, so I can feel ok.” Yes, there are ways that this strategy has been useful and kept us safe, and how is it now causing suffering?

This month we will explore together in a sacred container how we take things personally and what happens when it all stops. What is left when the identification of “me” and “mine” falls away - if the world unfolds just as it unfolds internally and externally and there is no one to take anything personally at all.

We plan to gather on Saturday April 6th from 10am to 11:30am Denver time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

This month we welcome guest teacher Liz George who will lead us in the Seven Homecomings Practice of Lama Rod Owens. This is a deeply nourishing practice of opening to the support that is here, always, in all ways. The support that is who we are. From here, the possibility is that everything is welcome, everything can be met - fear and uncertainty, pain and heartbreak, anger and rage. And in allowing everything to be met fully, true liberation can be realized - in yourself, in the world.

You can learn more about Lama Rod Owens and the practice here: Seven Homecomings Certification Course (lamarod.com)

We plan to gather on Saturday March 2nd from 10am to 11:30am Denver time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here: embodied meditation sign up

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear All,

You may have noticed that the subject heading has shifted from “Embodied Meditation and Self- Inquiry” to “Embodied Awakening”. Why is that? Truly, all the meditations and self-inquiry have been arising from and pointing to what is always awake and free - what is always whole , no matter what shows up internally or apparently externally. Bringing in this word “awakening” may stir something in your heart as it does in mine - there is a sense of quiet relief and rest, joy and openness. Or there may something else in you, such as frustration, resistance, fear or confusion - I don’t know.

“In awakening, what’s revealed to us is that we are not a thing, nor a person, nor even an entity. What we are is that which manifests as all things, as all experiences, as all personalities. We are that which dreams the whole world into existence. Spiritual  awakening reveals that that  which is unspeakable and unexplainable is actually what we are.” - Adyashanti

You are all invited to join us in an exploration of “awakening” - what does it mean? What does it evoke? What may be discovered in this sacred space where anything and everything that arises in this exploration is welcome?

We plan to gather on Saturday February 3rd from 10am to 11:30am Denver time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

I am grateful to have spent two weeks mostly unplugged, immersed in the natural world of water and wind, tides rising and falling, waves crashing and receding. Fish swimming, birds flying, humans doing what humans do - so simple and natural. I spent days gazing at the wide sky, watching clouds come and go, swimming and wading in the ocean, feeling waves come and go, deeply aware of what is always here internally and externally.

I could feel separation between me and sky and ocean reveal itself as illusion even as thoughts, emotions and sensations moved through like clouds and waves - sometimes small and peaceful, sometimes dark and stormy.

What is here as this illusion of separation falls away? When identification shifts from the clouds and the waves to what they are moving through, arising from and dissolving back into? Vast, open, spacious, empty, full silence - what is always here.

You are all invited to join us in inquiry to discover the living experience of what is always here. What does this feel like right now, and right now? And what does it feel like to live from here, to allow life to be lived from silence, to unfold naturally as it does for the fish and the birds?

We plan to gather on January 6th from 10am to 11:30am Denver time & all are welcome.

5pm - London

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

This month I will be traveling, so beautiful souls who are regulars in our monthly gathering will be hosting. As we know, the holidays, whether we celebrate them or not, can bring up all kinds of things for folks - joy, belonging, loneliness, resistance, numbing out, etc. When family is involved, there can be expectations and projections which pull us away from ourselves, into patterns of suffering.

This month’s meeting will be an opportunity to explore what comes up around holiday gatherings, and to discover what is here regardless of expectations and projections.

We plan to meet by zoom at 10am to 11:30am Mountain time.

5pm - london

6pm - Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

This month I invite you all to come together to meet the heartbreak of the world. As we witness the violence in the Middle East, mass shootings here in the US, a political system in disarray and so much more, how do we stay open and present without feeling overwhelmed? We may start by noticing all the strategies we use to protect, shut down, ignore, avoid. Then in our safe container, together, we can discover what is deeper than these strategies, what is being protected, and what in even deeper - untouched and whole. We may experience the possibility of bearing everything that arises in us, unmoving, open as love itself. As our capacity for bearing everything that arises in us grows, so does our capacity for bearing the heartbreak of these whole world. Who knows what can come of this?

Please join me to discover together.

We plan to meet by zoom on November 4th from 10am to 11:30 mountain time.

4pm London

5pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

As many of you know I spend much of my time with young folks, working at a school for kids aged 5 to 14. Each week we engage in conversations about what is here for them right now, and often the sense of self-hatred is present. This shows up as thoughts such as “I’m no good.” “I am a failure and a nuisance.” “I should just die, and everyone would be better off without me.” There is often tension and contraction in the body, or a sense of dissociation, or a heaviness so deep that everything shuts down. When I ask about emotions, the answer is often, “I don’t know.” or “I feel numb.” With more inquiry there may be sadness and rage, but usually those are too scary to touch. As we gently support what is showing up, something may thaw and open, awareness can fall in and sense what is whole and untouched by the violent storm of self-hatred, and something new is often discovered.

Meeting the young ones in their vulnerability, I am more aware of the subtle and not so subtle waves of self-hatred that arise in me, and in loved ones around me. What an invitation to drop below the narrative that I am telling myself, to open to the profound discomfort in the body that accompanies rage and terror. To fall so deeply in that the survival strategy of separation dissolves, and what is vast, endless, and open reveals itself as everything, always. Quiet, empty, whole.

I invite you to join me in this journey of meeting self-hatred.

We plan to meet by zoom on October 7th from 10am to 11:30 mountain time.

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Entangled in the Search for a Better Identity — gangaji.org

Dear Ones,

For this month’s exploration I invite you to listen to this podcast from Gangaji. I am reminded of the pain and suffering I felt during my twenties when this search for a better identity was at its peak - the pain and suffering that led me to Gangaji and to the end of the search. Before I met Gangaji, the belief was strong that I am this body mind called Margot, and so much energy was focused on making a better version of what I believed I was. Energy was focused outwards in projection and comparison - if I could just be more like this person or that person, I would be loved and valued, I would finally feel ok, I would finally be safe and secure. I could finally rest.

Gangaji invited me to rest in that moment, to stop the search for a better identity, to stop all projections and comparisons, to be willing be imperfect, flawed, incompetent, afraid and make no movement away. In that willingness to stop, uncomfortable terror arose and it felt like I would die, but in staying open, being willing to die, something else revealed itself - empty spaciousness, vast, unmoving, peace.

No “Margot”, no others, no separation from anything. No projections or comparisons. No safety, no death. Nothing…..and everything. Fullness, joy, love. The body, mind and emotions rising and falling like the wind within an unmoving, endless sky of beingness.

You are all invited to join us to discover what is here when the efforts of self-improvement stop, what is already whole and needs no improvement at all.

We plan to gather on September 2nd from 10am to 11:30 mountain time.

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear All,

I finally seem to have caught covid after all this time without it. It has been humbling, revealing, and a gift in its own way. As the body and mind are calling for profound rest, there is little to do but surrender - even that is too much. There is little to do……no energy to project a future, dig into an imagined past or follow any imaginings of the mind that are anything other than right now, this moment. Whatever energy is available is used for the present needs - preparing herbs and nourishing food, whatever else shows up to be met in the moment. The body takes care of itself in its own time, and there is a new intimacy in this slowed down world. Deeper noticing of the way the sun moves across the sky, the subtleties of the wind as it rises and falls in the afternoons. Watching the birds fly in and out the birdhouse we hung on a tree years ago that has never been occupied until this summer. Watching the asters and the daisies bloom.

The timing is just right for this - still on summer break from school which starts in August and the great privilege of being able to rest and not have to work through this time beyond a few zoom calls. Despite the permission to rest, there can still be a tendency to move out of right now, to pick up something with the mind as a way to stay in control, to avoid the terror of the emptiness of the apparent nothing. And yet, when awareness falls into the terror of the emptiness, it reveals itself and fullness and everything, rich, colorful, abundant life. Love. Nothing else needed, nowhere to go.

I invite you to join me in rest, to feel the deliciousness of the present moment, discover what moves away, and what happens when the movement is not followed.

We plan to gather on August 5th from 10am to 11:30 mountain time.

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Dear Ones,

Last month we explored surrender - how and why we avoid whatever we think it means. What keeps us running in a belief in a someone who is in control of something.

This month join us to dive deeper into the possibility of true rest. Right now. No fixing or making better, no strategizing to get somewhere or get something. An invitation to rest - just for a moment - not touching any idea of a future or a past. Surrender as what is here right now, what is always here - deeper than any thoughts or sensations.

Nothing to do, no one to be. Peace.

We plan to gather on July 1st from 10am to 11:30 mountain time.

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

I am curious, what happens in you when you hear the word - surrender? When the invitation comes to stop, to surrender all control for just a moment? To give up trying to fix or manage, to co-create or manifest? Is there a sense of relief or does some resistance arise? What sensations happen in the body? What thoughts arise? What emotions? Why? How has this served?

What could happen if whatever believes it is in control lets go of that story? Opens the grasping hand, melts into the everythingness of everything, as the everythingness of everything?

Join me this coming Saturday on a journey of deep surrender - no one surrendering to anyone or anything - even that is too much. The deep surrender of no one to be, nothing to do, no separateness from anything at all. The deep surrender as what you have always been and always are. Effortless. Now.

We plan to meet on Saturday June 3rd at 10am Denver time

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

Tolerating discomfort - why would I want to do that? I do everything I can to avoid discomfort!

Yes, this is true, we often do everything we can to avoid discomfort, for some very good reasons. It can trigger a response from a time that was unsafe - it can activate the nervous system into a fight, flight, freeze or shutdown reaction that at one time protected us. In turn this activation can feel terrifying, overwhelming, even more uncomfortable and the reaction spiral builds until we numb out, distract, sooth ourselves through whatever means necessary. Discomfort can be both a trigger and a response to a trigger, and we can become masterful at avoiding these sensations.

I am curious, though, what else gets avoided in this process? What else are you numbing, distracting yourself from, shutting down in the attempt to protect yourself? How are you silencing your own deepest wisdom?

What beauty and majesty of shakti are being denied?

And what do you really want?

What if it is possible to support the nervous system to tolerate sensations that have been labeled “uncomfortable”, “too much”, “overwhelming”? What if you can safely build the capacity to not just tolerate, but open to your own life force as it shows up in you in the form of intense sensation?

What if this capacity grows with a natural discernment so that you can be fully present no matter what arises? What if tolerating discomfort can support the falling open as a deep pool of wisdom that can respond as love itself - nothing avoided or denied? No one, no thing, no other. Pure, empty, open grace of being?

Please join guest facilitator Liz George and me to discover what is possible as we build the capacity to tolerate discomfort and discover its gifts in the sacred container of our shared gathering.

We plan to meet on Saturday April 1st at 10am Denver time - please allow 2 hours for this gathering.

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

The other day, a familiar circumstance triggered a familiar, uncomfortable feeling inside my body. The sensations were connected to emotions of helplessness and despair, a story of unworthiness and unlovability. Instead of feeling all of this, my mind got busy trying to find a solution - what could be done to fix the situation so that I did not have to feel these feelings. I found myself stuck in a loop of mental projection trying to gain control over a situation that felt like it was out of my control - focusing on external circumstances. I was turning away from the emotions and uncomfortable sensations within. I was avoiding truly meeting myself.

In realizing this, the mental activity stopped for a moment. Long enough for me to take a deep breath and feel my feet on the ground. From there awareness fell down and in - dropping deeper than the stories I was telling myself, noticing the qualities of the sensations in the body. Pressure in the chest that was covering a sense of hollowness under the heart. As awareness fell into the hollowness something else revealed itself - a sense of warm, lush love that has no end. From this love with no end, the triggering event dissolved and love guided the connection that was desired to begin with.

I am curious, are there emotions and sensations that arise in you that feel uncomfortable, overwhelming, shameful or unbearable? How do you turn away from what is arising in you? What would it be like to stop and turn in to yourself instead - welcoming everything?

Join us to discover.

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

We will meet at 10am Denver time

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

I look forward to inquiring with you.

Last month we had a special treat - guest teacher, Amilia Elliot shared with us a beautiful intervention from Lama Tsultrim Allione of Tara Mandala called Feeding your Demons. It was such a profound experience for us that she will be offering it again

The process can be found here and is very powerful and transformative:

5 Steps of Feeding Your Demons® - Tara Mandala

Together we plan to gather and begin with embodied meditation to support us in being fully present. Amilia will share the process, and we will have a chance to share our realizations and discoveries as a group.

If you would like to join us, please contact me here for the link.

The gathering is free and donations are accepted here:

https://paypal.me/openheartwisdom?locale.x=en_US

We will meet at 10am Denver time

5pm London

6pm Amsterdam

I look forward to seeing you soon.