The Gift of the Enneagram

“The Enneagram is the ego made visible.” Eli Jaxon-Bear

The Enneagram is an ancient wisdom teaching that can ultimately point the way to true freedom.

Discovering Love in the Core of Fear

The first time I encountered the Enneagram decades ago, flipping through the pages, I was trying to learn something about myself that could explain Why I was unable to have healthy relationships. Why I felt numb, disassociated from my body. Why I felt both insecure, full of doubt, and angry and self-righteous.

I flipped through the book, eliminating the points I knew didn't fit – I knew It wasn't the eight, definitely not the three, and no way the six – because I am not run by fear – I'm one of the bravest people I know. If something is scary, I will dive right in – swim with the sharks, travel the world alone, backpack solo deep into the woods. This wasn't scary, it was relief.

Then I discovered the counter-phobic six fixation – avoiding the feeling of fear by going straight into it. Appearing courageous and in control on the outside, while feeling disconnected and out of control on the inside. Desperately trying to manage the fear of annihilation while being simultaneously drawn to annihilation. Wanting to die and fighting against it.

In recognizing the avoidance of fear that was running This life stream, I was invited to stop. To actually feel fear in my body without any story about it, for the story was another way to avoid the direct experience of it. In a moment in the woods – full of fear of loosing all the apparent stability in my life – I lay down and opened my arms, allowing waves of the sensation I called “terror” to wash through. In this moment, “I” was willing to die, willing to lose all control and identity, willing to surrender to the dangerous unknown.

in that moment, all boundaries of identity and form disappeared and everything revealed itself as love.

Now this life is lived as love, in service of love, each breath - love itself, never separate. Supporting others to discovered that this love is here, now. It is what you already are, always and in all ways.

If you feel drawn to discover this for yourself, let's meet.

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