How does the discovery of the Truth of who we are get co-opted by the mind?

(423) Gangaji: Freedom and Desire - YouTube

Who are you? Deeper than the circumstances of this life, deeper than thoughts that come and go, deeper than emotions and sensations that arise and fall?

What is always whole and untouched even as waves of fear, shame and anger flow through?

An answer may arise for you or not. This may be a familiar line of inquiry or it may be new. When my teacher Gangaji asked me these questions, the mind stopped in its tracks, fell in on itself, and what was discovered was beyond language and words. The world stopped, identity stopped, separation stopped. There was nothing - no me, no other, no inside and outside. Nothing at all. Open, spacious.

Then there was the challenge and gift of staying true to what revealed itself through grace without following the doubts that arose. Staying open, embodied and present and not turning this discovery into something to get, to have, to lose.

How does this experience of pure essence get co-opted by the mind’s activity? How does it become a mental concept of “oneness” or “love” that feels outside of the present moment, the present experience of day-to-day living? How does this that is whole and untouched become something to be experienced while in morning meditation, but then lost while caring for children, attending to a job, negotiating with a spouse?

What does it mean to live life from this pure essence, in every moment - embodied and fully present every moment, no matter the challenge?

Right now - if you land in your own body in this present moment - feet on the ground, support of the cushion or the chair, feeling the gentle force of gravity allowing you to rest right now with nothing to do, how does this feel? What are the sensations that are arising in the body right now? Are you aware of pressure, tension, temperature, vibration? Perhaps there are some thoughts or emotions with these sensations - resistance, judgement, fear. What if, just for a moment, awareness can drop below the thoughts and judgements, even below the labels of emotions that carry the weight of the past? What if there is so much space for these sensations to be just as they are? Awareness can even fall right into the heart of these sensations. Then what is discovered? Right here, right now.