Available Heart

Available

What does this word mean? The mind comes in with a definition that feels small, with edges....a place where it falls off. Available is this but not that. Here but not there. You are available or you are not. I am available or I am not.

When the word falls into the heart, it dissolves and opens wider and wider. Available is the heart and the heart is available. Boundaries disappear, loves radiates everywhere as everything. There is no me, no you, no one to be available or not available. The word is love itself. Available. I feel the warm explosion through the chest and belly that dissolves even the idea of chest and belly. There is endless expansion as pure love

And then there is a slight, familiar sense of discomfort that gets called terror – terror of annihilation. Sharp intake of breath and shaking vibration. Contraction happens around the discomfort and the story of “I” arises. Projection of a “me” with a body and edges, a “me” that can be safe or unsafe. The contraction and storytelling build as the heart is felt as something small and guarded. In this it is not safe to be available. A whole world gets projected from this – one that is not safe, one that needs to be controlled. The story gets told that it is you who is not available – it is your fault – as I stand barricaded in a made up prison called “safety” suffering.

The choice point is so clear – the moment of discomfort. As this that gets called “discomfort” is met just as it is, available love meeting itself, there is no discomfort. There laughter and joy - radiant love - quiet and expansive. There is no contraction, no reincarnation as someone and no world projected that can be available or unavailable.